Adventures in Chinese Dating

During China's opening and reform period two types of people emerged: the individualists and the group thinkers. Group thought has probably persisted throughout China since the Cultural Revolution. It’s part of the communist mentality that everything must be done for the good of the state and the community. Thus, when making personal decisions, if that decision may have a negative affect on the group, it must be forgone. Those choices covered everything from who to date to what career they could pursue.

Individual thinking, a negative side effect of increased contact from the West, was considered to be selfish. The individualists were those had goals and dreams to better their own life and pursue their own happiness. Probably the most noticeable and common form of individualism was straying from the plans that parents had set out for their children since their second birthday. Parents always think they know what is best for their children. This isn't a Chinese thing but a common assumption across cultures. The difference from East and West is that although Western parents think they may know what is best, they more often than not allow their children to pursue their own goals and make their own mistakes. Western parents,for the most part, are supportive of their children's decisions when it comes to what we study in schools to which city or region we decide to live in.

In China, it's a different story. Too many of my friends didn't even have a choice in their major. My best friend here studied law despite the fact that she thinks it is boring and has no desire to practice it in the future. So why did she study law then? Well, because her father wanted her to, duh. Children must obey their parent's wishes or risk estrangement or shame. Although there are a few of those who are willing to risk it for their own happiness, most won't because of the group thought mentality that has constrained them from considering what may be best for themselves.

In my opinion, this type of thinking has made many Chinese people unhappy with their current lives. I know many married men who hate their wives. They married them not out of love but out of the good reputation or financial stability that would follow. So many men, and perhaps women (that I'm not sure about) have spouses and then lovers. The word in Chinese for mistress/lover is qinren which is literally translated to love person. In the West this word wouldn't have a negative connotation. You should marry and spend your life with the person you love, not rendezvous in secret with them while your spouse pretends to turn a blind eye. Further making their current unhappiness worse, most women know their husbands are cheating but won't say anything because it would embarrass them in front of the group.

I was appalled the other day when I went to the local bar and was chatted up by a drunk 30 something year old man. Early on in the conversation I discovered he had a wife and a seven year old son, and yet a few minutes later he blatantly asked me if I would "spend the night with him." Although the East champions their esteemed values and morality, I have discovered little worth being proud of when it comes to morals in marriage.

But China and the Chinese have gone through some changes in their thinking processes. Individualism is becoming accepted in some area, for example: the pursuit of money. Salesmen, business men and street vendors are constantly cheating and ripping people off. That doesn't seem to comply with group thought and doing what is good for the community to me. Striking it big and making profits at the sake of others is one of the most selfish things a person could do. Lying and cheating are prevalent in the littlest forms of business to the greatest. Whether it is cheating someone out of a few mao (less than a penny) to a few thousand yuan, it happens daily.

And yet, when it comes to marriage and dating, group thought is still the norm. Parents and family members still introduce younger members of the family to a duixiang (marriage prospect). If the love interest of a son or daughter is disapproved of they will be pressured into breaking up with them and choosing someone who is accepted by the rest of the family.

I recently had first hand experience with the phenomenon of group thought in Chinese dating. I was seeing a Chinese boy, English name is Tim, since early December. Fortunately, his parents were very kind and approving towards me. Tim and I had an understanding, or so I thought, about my returning home in September. We discussed this fact on our second date and it wasn't a huge deal. He was a little hesitant at first; dating someone without the possibility of a jieguo or consequence made him a little skeptical. But despite that concern, his mind was appeased for a short while (four happy carefree months!) with my western individualist ideas of dating (thinking about now and not the future) or so I thought.

Apparently, he had some crazy idea that he could change my mind and get me to stay in China forever. Yes, forever, that was a word he used often. And that was the reason he broke up with me last week. When he realized that I was definitely going home, he had a slight meltdown. He wanted me to live in China forever, probably at home with his mom and dad-yeah no thanks and if I couldn't promise that it was game over.

Tim just celebrated his 22nd birthday, and yet his mother and father think that it is time he settled down, got married and had a son. Only 22 years old, and an immature boy who works as a bartender and enjoys playing computer games in his free time, Tim is definitely not ready to get married. I think part of him realizes this and doesn't even have a desire to be married anytime soon, but he mustn't disappoint his parents. He said that they have expectations and he cannot let them down. His cousin is 23 and already has a baby and so he must do the same.

He was ashamed and scared to tell his parents that I was going to return home in September because they thought I would stay here forever. He said he was unwilling to stay with me any longer if we were not going to be married. Dating without a jieguo was insignificant. It's not enough that you enjoy being with each other or even love each other. He eventually told his parents and even though they really like me, they did in fact tell him to breakup with me. So be it.

So what I've learned....apparently, each time a girl and a boy get together, the expectation is marriage. If marriage is not possible, no matter how much they may like each other, they break up and move on to the next duixiang. Love is a word that is thrown around constantly like a dirty towel. Two people think they love each other after only a few dates. Tim told me he loved me after we went out twice. So that means people will get married after only being together a short time, which I think deserves blame for the higher rate of divorce. Most Chinese will blame higher rates of divorce on individualism and selfishness and call it a import from the West but I don't believe that one bit. People get married because their parents want them to or before they have been together long enough to fully understand and accept the other person. And now that they can get divorced they do so when they realize how incompatible they really are.

I think that this type of group thinking leads to feelings of inadequacy. Chinese children always strive to please their parents who are usually more disappointed than they are not.

Although Tim is a great, kind and caring person, I think he is really unhappy as a result of the pressure he feels because of his family and China's expectations. He feels that he can't please them when it comes to love and a job. His parents don't approve of his working in a bar but he can't find other work. Although I gave him many reasons for us to stay together and enjoy each other's company until I went home, he said he couldn't because that's not China's xiangfa or method of thinking. He has a low self-esteem which I think is prevalent among the Chinese. They are never good enough in the eyes of their parents and family members. They aren't very proud people and are somewhat self-deprecating.

I had a coworker who had it particularly bad. Her parents often told her that she was ugly and would never get married, despite the fact that she had a boyfriend (whom they did not approve of, of course). I'm sure they are broken up by now. They put her down constantly. They didn't approve of her job because her former classmates were all post-graduate students in some of the best universities. But her job was actually pretty good for Weifang. She was an English teacher and made a reasonable salary and yet it wasn't good enough for her parents. Betty was always unhappy and felt worthless. Her parents eventually made her quit, which was done in an incredibly dishonest manner but that's another blog entry.

This isn't the case for everyone, though. I know some very modern and free thinking Chinese people who are waiting until they are in their late 20s to get married, because they want to discover themselves first and pursue their own goals. They want to go abroad and and do what makes them happy. I say good for them. Although, if your only goal in life is to get married, then I suppose that it's fine to get married by the time you're 22- I'm not hating.

China should revise it's opinions about individualism and group thought. There is an appropriate time for each. When it comes to love and happiness one should be an individual and do what makes them happy. We only get one life and as long as we aren't hurting others why shouldn't we do what makes us happy? When it comes to business and ethics, group thought is better. Lying and cheating obviously hurts others more than when and who you will marry with.

Anyway, my experience in dating a Chinese person has helped me learn a lot about Chinese culture. I don't regret it even though I'm sure I'll be lonelier in a foreign country without that companionship/friendship but it did provide me with valuable insight into this Chinese phenomenon. It was the first time I was broken up with because I didn't plan on marrying the person, especially after such a short period in time. I'm 22, though, and I don't plan on marrying anyone for quite a while. And I know my parents will be supportive of that because they are wonderful and want what's best for me, which they fully realize is what I want. Never have I been more grateful to be American. Having the ability and freedom to pursue our own happiness is the greatest part of our culture and I'll never forget that.

An even more commercialized version of Christmas

Some people complain that Christmas in America has lost it's original meaning and has become a hallmark holiday defined by a ridiculous looking fat man in a red suit that brings undeserving brats everywhere X-box 360s, the latest Hollywood Blockbusters, new laptops, and sweaters from American Eagle's latest winter line.

What happened to baby Jesus, Bethlehem, and Mary and Joseph? Hell, I never even learned about those things. Anyway, what I'm getting at is the mind boggling hypocrisy that is China during Christmas time. Maybe people in America have lost touch about the true meaning of Christmas but people in China never knew it in the first place. But that hasn't stopped them from making bank off of it. Apart from the fact that most of the toys under America's Christmas trees were made in China, Christmas is everywhere here, even in the small cities with less than a hundred foreigners (most of whom are from India and Pakistan) like Weifang.

Walking down the street in late November I caught myself humming. Then I realized that the tune I was humming was jingle bells. Why on Earth was I humming jingle bells? I hadn't even processed that Christmas was quickly approaching. Then I realized the answer: it was being blasted by amplifiers outside mega malls and supermarkets. Look left, look right, what did I see? Paper cutouts of Santa Claus, Christmas trees, and banners saying Merry Christmas, in English and Chinese of course. Plastic Christmas trees with LED lights illuminated the glass doors of each and every restaurant, shop and office.

Do people even celebrate Christmas in China, I wondered? Determined to discover the answer, I asked my students. Not really was the answer. Some said their parents gave them presents but no one actually knew what Christmas was about and no one had off from school or work.

During our class Christmas parties I quizzed my students and their Christmas knowledge. Restricted from touching on the topic of religion seeing as how most Chinese are atheists, I stuck to the more superficial aspects of Christmas. No one knew much of anything about that either. According to the piecemeal idea I worked together, Christmas is a holiday only celebrated in America where a big, fat, old man (Santa Claus in Chinese is literally translated into Christmas Old Man 圣诞老人) brings presents to little kids on December 25th. Parents help him make the presents and children hang socks and decorate Christmas trees. Santa has either 2 or 4 reindeer and he enters houses via windows, doors and chimneys. Not much, right?

So if Christmas itself isn't a big deal, isn't understood, and isn't recognized by the government as a holiday, then why the big fuss? Why the extravagant display of Christmas decorations? As far as I can tell it's just another example of China becoming a capitalistic mega-mart with billions of consumerist slaves to the RMB.

Besides the bewilderment it caused me, my holiday wasn't too bad. Slightly depressed about not spending it with my family, I did the next best thing by spending it with friends in Beijing. I spent much of it eating as much Western food as I could get my hands on (Pizza, salad, chips and salsa, Dove Chocolate, coffee, risotto, tiramisu, and red wine) and catching up with friends from GW and my study abroad program.

The most interesting thing about my Christmas was having my palm read at a Christmas party by a middle-aged Chinese man. Apparently he is extremely gifted and I should send him a thank you card. According to his powerful insight into my lovely palm, I will live well into my 80s, 86 to be exact (or more). I will have a successful career in government and will quickly move up the ladder based on my skills as a capable leader (oohhh yeah!) I have great friends who I can rely on and trust. I will be prosperous, although I will have to make some tough decisions, but I like to spend my money on frivolous things (got me). I will be healthy and never get cancer or AIDs (woo hoo). I will have a successful marriage and my husband will also have a long healthy life. We will have two smart children, a boy and a girl, and I will control all the money (like mother like daughter).

Okay, so up to that point it sounded like a bunch of baloney. You know the same old thing you get from supposed psychics and clairvoyants. But then he got me, by looking at my ears, strange I know. He said that I have a better relationship with my mother than my father. We are very close and talk frequently, true. Then he said that my mother will live longer than my father so I need to pay more attention to him, when I call home I should ask him how he is doing and spend more time telling him I love him. Then the man specifically named my father's ailment, high blood pressure. How the hell did he do that?! CRAZY. Does that mean I can I trust the rest of what he said? I do want to work in government, I do spend my money on things I don't need, I do have great health! Hmmm, thinking, thinking...nah! I don't believe in psychics..do I?

Anyway, yes, weird story I know, but it has helped me realize that I need to spend more time talking to others in my family, not just my mom but also my dad and brother. So even if he didn't tell me my future, he did give me a powerful reminder that life is short and we must show the ones we love how much we care, no matter how apparent we already think it is.

On a weird, circus freak side note, I taught Yumi (the dog) to spoon with me. Don't judge! Helps beat the lonlies.

I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday season and a happy new year. Good luck, health and happiness to you in 2009.

Bonnie

Chinese people can be slightly creepy...

No offense to any of my Chinese friends but some of your peers are absolutely nuts! Okay, so first I have this co-worker who does and says things that are too inappropriate to even mention. Basically, what would constitute as sexual harassment and an immediate letting firing, is barely acknowledged as an issue here. While most indeed think it is strange, it just receives a shrug of the shoulders. HMMPH. And although teaching has improved greatly (the kids are putting aside their qualms of having a new teacher and actually starting to love me), what I really want most now is a sexual harassment staff meeting. Unfortunately it would probably do about as much good as the diversity meeting from the Office (season 1)....Yeah, I've been watching a lot of the Office and Scrubs lately.

Secondly, every day I get at least 10 scooby-doo sounding "hellloooo"s, stares, and even the occasional follower. The other day I was purchasing a small, silver, Christmas tree at the small goods market by my school (which by the way, only cost me the grand total of 2.50 USD), and I had about 20 men stop and watch me pick it out. Moreover, I get offered cigarettes and opportunities to drink with random strangers just about every time I go out. One man told the waitress at the local hot spot to tell me to go over and drink with him and his friend because I was absolutely beautiful. I now somewhat understand what it would be like as a movie star, and I definitely don't like it. It's almost like everyone is part of the paparazzi.

The other day we had a twenty-something young man come to our school for a placement interview. After the interview, he practically begged for a job, working for free. Then he went on about how he would do anything for James and I. Whenever we needed or wanted something we should tell him and he will immediately go get it for us. You want water? Here you are. Excuse me, but are you offering to be our bitch? The enthusiasm in his voice was particularly creepy.

There have been many other examples which I've forgotten due to my lack of motivation to sit down and write about them, but fortunately for you, I was given the perfect storyline last night.

Last week I decided to let go of my former hesitance and go on a date with a Chinese boy. He is about 6" 3' and pretty attractive. He works as a bartender and is only a few months younger than me. So basically, he is not your average, short, geeky, feminine Chinese male. Anyway, last night, only after our third time going out, I received the most dreaded three little words you could possibly hear as someone not looking for a serious commitment. Yes. He said it. After dropping me off at my apartment, he sent me a text message, first thanking me for going out with him (like I'm doing him a favor?) and then "I love you."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!!?? BE A MAN! Please, dear god, tell me he didn't mean it. Granted it was in English, and he speaks very little English, so is it possible that he doesn't understand the real meaning of "I love you." Please let it have been an innocent, oh you're so funny I love you "I love you" and not an I'm deeply and emotionally attached to you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you "I love you." Otherwise I might have some serious issues.

In China, the marriage talk tends to come up pretty early on in the dating period or in China what is better described as "courtship." I'm not at all saying that we are dating, it's just that most people here get married around 22 or 23 so to be fair, I told him I'm going back to America in September and there's no way I'm staying or getting married anytime soon. So, if he knows this, he can't possibly have meant it, right?

Ahhh, breaking hearts wherever I go. Pray for the poor Chinese men of the world.

Bonnie

PS. I ate duck head! Including the brains. Who would have thought?

My Dearest Apologies

I have finally decided to take a break from what I've been doing all morning (and afternoon), which has been absolutely nothing, no offense to those I was chatting with online (that made me incredibly happy), to sit down a devote my full attention to filling you in on my most recent activities. Please forgive me for neglecting you for so long.

First thing first, I'm incredibly ill. I'll spare you all the disgusting details and just relay to you how I feel with a metaphor: I feel as one would having just gotten off the most rickety wooden roller coaster on a frigid December morning...so basically I'm dizzy, cold, I have a sore throat (except in this case it's not from screaming out of fear that the wooden roller coaster is 60 years old and could collapse at any moment), and am experiencing shooting pains in my neck and lower back. Why might I feel so horrible you ask? It's probably because my life is absolutely crazy. One of the other reasons why I've dedicated today towards doing absolutely nothing. I promise you, I will not leave my apartment again unless it's to let my roommate, who has already locked himself out of the building once today, back in.

Last Sunday, immediately after teaching for 8 straight hours (7 of which I was probably standing for) I took the "fast" train to Beijing. I was pleased to discover that for only 218 rmb (32 USD) and four and a half hours, I can return to civilization. Not that where I live isn't civilized, it just isn't civilized like we are used to. Weifang is considerably less developed that Beijing and in no way does it compare to futuristic Shanghai. Beijing, on the other hand, could be transplanted to the US and for the most part it would fit right in, except that all the signs would be in Chinese.

Beijing has changed so much since I last lived there. It is now home to an Ikea, an American Apparel, a Coldstone, and the largest Apple (computer) store in the world. Talk about first world. If a tourist come to China for the first time and only visited Beijing, he/she would never know that the majority of the country is still considered third world and lives on less than a few dollars a day. It's mind-blowing. The city is an incredible mix of modern and traditional, with condominiums and skyscrapers overlooking the Forbidden City and the hutongs of "old Beijing." It truly is amazing but I hope that the city doesn't get carried away with its modernization and doesn't destroy the last remaining reminders of it's rich history and culture.

Anyway, I went to Beijing to see Aunt Conni, my "jiu ma." Chinese has specific words for each family member depending on their age and what side of the family they are on. For example, the older brother of my dad has a different title than the younger brother of my father, they aren't simply called uncle. And both of their names are different than those of the older and younger brothers of my mother. Jiu ma means the wife of my mom's brother, therefore my father's sister-in-law would have a different name. Confusing and complicated right? I guess it makes explaining relations a lot easier than in English since each name has includes it's meaning. It's basically a verbal family tree.

Aunt Conni and her sister, Lorraine, came to China on a trip through Arcadia University and I was fortunate enough to be able to meet up with them. Being in Beijing made me realize how secluded Weifang is. In the hotel lobby alone I saw more foreigners at once than I have in my entire two months living in Weifang. While it was a nice change, I think it's better for me to be in Weifang because I have more opportunities to truly experience the Chinese way of life and practice my Chinese.

It felt so great to see family and observe their reactions to China. Because they were technically on a tour designed for foreigners they missed out on some amazing places and real Chinese food, but I think that their trip overall was pretty wonderful. We went to a jade factory where we saw workers carving individual pieces of jade into an incredibly intricate hollow balls with several more hollow balls inside them. We climbed a section of the Great Wall and dressed up in traditional Manchu and Ming dynasty garb.


Lorraine, me and Aunt Conni on the Great Wall








We also went to the Temple of Heaven and participated in the Chinese people's early morning exercise activities which included: ballroom dancing, taiqi with balls and paddles, hackey sack with feathers attached to metal rings, rhythmic gymnastics, and many other interesting activities. The park was crowded with retirees gathering to do their morning exercises and socialize. Exercise is a huge part of Chinese culture so it was a wonderful opportunity for us to experience an incredible difference between Chinese and American lifestyles. Can you imagine thousands of people gathering in New York's Central Park every morning to dance, play cards and do yoga?? Unlikely, right?

Ballroom dancing at the Temple of Heaven











Another thing impossible to imagine is that I ate starfish, but it's true! I have pictures to prove it. It was deep fried on the outside and had squishy, spongy meaty insides. It tasted like a mixture of crab cake and the fishiest tasting fish you can imagine. It wasn't as bad as you wo proveould think. The starfish eating escapade occurred at Beijing's Wangfujin snack street, which is famous for offering up strange sorts of bugs and animals on skewers. You could choose almost anything imaginable; from snake and scorpion to whole squid and sea horse. I think I played it safe with the starfish, though.

Yum, tasty starfish











While in Beijing I also got to reunite with friends and teachers from IES at Beiwai, the study abroad program I went to in 2006. It felt strangely familiar and different at the same time although, I think I've changed more than the school itself.

I returned to Weifang on Wednesday, and by Friday I was off on another trip to Qingdao, a former German concession and the location of the Qingdao brewery. We toured the brewery and drank raw beer. I even got a souvenir beer bottle with my picture on it. Pretty awesome. Qingdao is only about an hour and a half train ride from Weifang but like Beijing it feels like another world. There are so many foreigners and foreign amenities there. For dinner we had both Indian food and pizza only because they were right next to each other!! Can't find western food in Weifang, although they are currently building a pizza hut in the huge mall near my apartment! I'm looking forward to that.



At beer fountain in the Tsingtao Brewery, Qingdao








Then on the weekend it was back to teaching. Unfortunately, I'm not enjoying teaching as much as I hoped to. I have some monster children and I'll probably be scared for life and end up being a crazy dog lady because I secretly believe that all children are demonically possessed. Let's hope that doesn't come true. My students are so bad that I dread going to work on Saturday and Sunday, but thankfully I only teach them twice a week. They kick and hit each other, and yell and scream at me about team games (who they are on a team with and if they get something wrong it being unfair), and so on. Every Saturday and Sunday night I have a sore throat and am physically and mentally exhausted. Even if the kids are good it still is incredibly draining to be a teacher and entertainer at the same time. When I think about having to do this for another 10 months I either want to cry or jump on the first flight back to Philadelphia.

Thankfully, I've made tons of interesting friends and am almost always busy, which helps taking my mind off of the torture that is teaching. I thought I'd be at home a lot more than I am but it seems like I always have something to do or someone to hang out with. I do have one crazy friend who is almost like a sugar daddy without the romantic connotations, thank god. Like many Chinese business men, he works for a crooked company and therefore is loaded. He takes his friends and teachers out for company expense dinners (which can cost as high as 500 rmb with all the beer and food he orders), massages, and hours singing at KTV. This man went out of his way to buy train tickets for me, put money on my phone when I ran out, and has even offered to buy me a dog.

We went to KTV Sunday night and he hired "escorts" to entertain us. I'm pretty sure those girls are also prostitutes but they work at the karaoke place and can be hired to sit with you and your friends, dance and wait on you. It was kind of depressing but I'm pretty sure we made their month because we didn't make them do anything remotely derogatory but got them up and dancing with us and had real conversations with them. Basically we treated them as people instead of objects. Every now and again there moments where living in China can be depressing. Like seeing brothels and women being treated poorly, industrialization at the expense of the environment, or the growing appeal of fast food like McDonald's and KFC and the decrease of exercise among children (they now play more computer games or watch more TV than playing with other kids). Globalization hasn't necessarily changed China for the best.

I can't help but bring up a political side-note. I've never been more proud to be an American than when Obama won the election. The Chinese people are pumped about it too. As soon as people learn I'm American they bring him up. Just as he does to many Americans, Obama represents change and youth to the Chinese people. He was all over the newspapers and CCTV. It was pretty exciting when street vendors brought up the topic and started giving me thumbs up and high fives. Ask my Aunt Conni, she'll tell you the story about the rally for Obama at the Ming Dynasty tombs the vendors started.

I'm sorry for the incredibly long entry. I hope it was both entertaining and enlightening and not at all boring. Please give me tips for dealing with children or jobs you hate that will help me survive the next 10 months.

I miss you all,
Bonnie

PS: In addition to starfish, I have also eaten snail and frog. MMMMMMMMM.

baby goodies

Dear friends and family,

I haven't blogged recently for lack of new material, until today that is. First, a real quick food update. Since I began my phase of no reservations I've had: pig intestines, a bowl of fish eggs that was intended to be enjoyed between two fried pieces of bread, and joint (from which animal I am not sure). None of which was very tasty....or digestible.

Anyway, I'm not sure how many people are familiar with child rearing practices in China but there are no diapers. Babies and toddlers essentially walk around wearing ass-less chaps or what are better described as overalls. Every day I see a few hand full of baby butts or you know, the stuff on the other side.... The kids also use the sidewalk as their personal WC (WC is the most commonly used for bathroom by those studying English, my students love to call each other WC or tell WC jokes). Sometimes I'll even see a mother holding her baby over a trash while it pees into it. Like she's doing the rest of us a favor? Wherever the child is going I don't want to see it. So thanks for your courtesy but it's still disturbing.

Anyway, I'm bringing this up because I have what I believe to be a good story about babies and their nakedness (no it's not perverted if that's what you're thinking). This evening I had a makeup class with a few of my ten year old students. One student's mom, her name is Princess, was waiting for her after class with her one year old brother who was indeed wearing these ass-less overalls. If you know me, well, then you probably know that I'm not a big fan of babies. Most people coo over them and think they are adorable but if you ask me they are dirty and gross. Give me a puppy over a baby any day, right Bay and Em? Anyway, I had to fake interest and delight while everyone was like ohhh Bonnie look at the baby. So I'm like "awww he's cute" while I'm thinking omg please someone cover his penis and make him look away from me (babies and their whole not breaking eye contact freak me out!!!)

Anyway, my fake interest must have been really believable because before I know it Princess has picked her brother up and put him in my arms. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I immediately begin to think, "how the hell do I hold this kid without his penis or butt touching me" ...also how do I make it look like I'm not actually disgusted and going to puke because I actually believe I'm holding a slobbering festering ball of germs? While I attempt to configure a suitable position where nothing is touching me but I'm still sort of supporting the kid, everyone is staring and smiling at me. I wish I had a picture because I can't imagine how ridiculous I looked with a fake grin plastered across my face. I most likely was holding the kid about a half a foot away from my body and with my hands under his arms (probably not the best way). Gross. Although it was probably only 30 seconds before I put him down, it felt like eternity.

Next time, keep your babies away from me. Thanks.

Interesting side note about Chinese culture. From the day you are born you are considered to be 1 year old. Not like back home where you start at zero. So every time someone tells me their age I have to do a quick subtraction in my head. And then we argue over who is older. Just because I say I'm 22 and you say you're 23 doesn't mean we both weren't born in 1986. Yeah, that argument is pretty pointless and confusing.

Take care,
Bonnie

The new host of No Reservations

Dear consumers,

Bonnie 2.0 has been unleashed and she is better and braver than ever. Bonnie 2.0 is different than the former Bonnie in that she is not afraid to try new things and with faster installation! Get yours today!

New Bonnie has decided to give up her former germophobic, picky eating habits and dive right into Chinese culture. This includes eating in dives that are less sanitary than a gas station rest room and peeing in the street. When you have to go you have to go right?

Tonight, I expanded my culinary horizons by trying crayfish (not too weird, I know) but this one was pregnant. And the eggs are the best part, so they say. So what the hell, I ate it. I wouldn't say it was the best part but I wasn't afraid! First bugs and now pregnant crustaceans, what's next? Dare I say lamb testicle or pig penis? I have seen that served up at a street bbq in Jinan. I guess we'll see what I do the next time I'm faced with it. For now, there is only one thing I'll stick to my guns about and that is dog meat. Never will I ever knowingly put a chopstick of dog meat to my lips.

Aside from engaging in strange eating habits I've also taken to riding on the backs of bicycles...an extremely dangerous task.

Bonnie 2.0 will also have killer legs because she climbs 5 flights of stairs every time she comes home (which is several times a day) and 4 flights of stairs every time she goes to school (which is also several times a day several days a week). She'll be able to kick your head off. Oh yeah.

Maybe, if there are requests, I'll begin to document these exquisite eating experiences for your viewing pleasure. Ask and you shall receive.

Bonnie

I'm going to be famous....in Weifang

Dear friends,

My face is going to be plastered all over this city. I'm finally going to get the fame I deserve. Aston English is going to put up extremely large banners around Weifang featuring yours truly. I can't wait to walk past and see myself smiling in front of 8.5 million Chinese. You wish you were me.

And you know what? Weifangers think I'm beautiful. Damn good thing I left hot and humid, modernized Chongqing where they thought I had a skin disease for cold, underdeveloped Weifang . Here I'm envied for my green eyes, my light skin and my body...yes my body. While art shopping today (I'm getting tired of living with hospital white walls) I was flattered, and slightly embarrassed, when the two women working in the shop commented on my nice figure. Modesty is big in China so I said nooooooooo. I'm so fat, I have a you yong quan (chinese for belly rolls-literally translates to swimming float or what we know to be a life preserver). After creating a ruckus and causing the two women to break out in giggles my Chinese friend asked me what it is called in English. So in order to educate the shop workers in American fat vernacular I described love handles. Using broken Chinese I told them that the fat on a woman's hips are called love handles because when a couple does the horizontal tango, the man often grabs onto that area....thus they are called love handles. Not surprisingly, I made them blush and laugh, and they love me. In fact, I asked to come back and play everyday.

I taught an interesting lesson to some 9 year olds on Tuesday on the topic "made of." For example: windows are made of glass, doors are made of wood, and rings are made of gold. In order to make the topic fun I introduced the "I'm thinking of something _____" game where you think of something in the room that's made of whatever and the rest of the students guess what it is you're thinking of and then they get to think of something. Well one of my three students said "I'm thinking of something gold" and immediately the naughty but incredibly intelligent Jenny ran over and begun tugging on my hair. "The teacher's hair is made of gold!!!" Then Kevin also began chanting "The teacher's hair is made of gold." Priceless, darling little children.

In other news, today I walked on water...in a giant bubble. James, Sherry (one of my adult students) and I went to People's Park this afternoon. While walking through the park I was astonished to see small children zippered into large plastic balloons unsuccessfully attempting to stand and run on water. I immediately had to try. For the small fee of 15 (about 2.5 dollars) for 5 minutes I was allowed to walk/stumble on water. While I knelt down inside the deflated balloon a large crowd began to develop around the pond. I was zippered in and the balloon was inflated by a large vacuum and then I was pushed onto the pond. James followed and then we had a bumber balloon fight. Do you know how hard it is to walk on water? It's extremely difficult, but incredibly fun. The crowd grew larger as we battled it out and small kids in their balloons joined our fight. I like to think that we did wonders for business as there was a long line of children wanting to try it out after we emerged from our plastic water havens. Pictures soon to come.

I did, however, recently try one thing against my will: locus. Yes, I, Bonnie Berry who will not even eat a teaspoon of mayonnaise or a slice of honey tavern ham because it's processed and I do not eat sandwhiches experienced my own version of an episode of fear factor and was lured into eating a bbq'd insect on a stick. It was not good. Dry and crunchy, it did in fact feel/taste like one would imagine a locus to taste. Apparently it's delicious to Chinese people. Alas, when in China right?

mmmmm, looks tasty yeah?

As always take care.

Love,
Bonnie